In an Instant

This crazy week, filled with ups and downs, is a prime example that everything can change in an instant. Lately, with our instant information world, one text is all it takes to make me jump for joy or (what seems to be most common lately) bring the world crashing down around me. Both of those have happened this week, and will probably happen again before it ends.

Monday, filled with potential for a good week, went into a tailspin upon a text from Daniel that he was going to be readmitted to the hospital after being out for little over a week. What appeared at first to be left over effects of sinusitis now appears to be something much scarier. His room was filled with doctors Monday and Tuesday outlining their suspicions and multiple tests necessary to rule out certain things like infection, blood clots or Graft vs Host Disease.

Tuesday brought with it more doctors and speculation as well as some good news! My persistence paid off and I heard about an interview for a position I want so badly!! I don’t want to say what quite yet, because I’ll be devastated if I don’t get it, but it’s basically every girl’s dream job ;).

Wednesday, today, was interview day! I think it went well, but I’m not sure. I really hope I hear soon. As soon as I got to the hospital, however, all thoughts of the interview left my head. While Daniel looks ok, he’s on oxygen constantly and just getting out of bed winds him. The possibility I’m scared of came up again and the Internet did not help. I am so thankful for everyone on that ward! My favourite nurse on the ward was there to talk me through it, grab a doctor to explain a few things, and the doctor even grabbed another doctor to clarify! The main thing they stressed is that they still don’t know and whatever it is will be treated aggressively to prevent it from worsening. All this is just a reminder that while Daniel may seem to be ok and stays in the hospital are quickly becoming old hat, it’s still serious and really scary. The day ended with a good talk with Daniel, checking up on each other in the midst of everything and providing words of encouragement for each other. I love him so much.

So, looking forward to the rest of the week, I’m scared. I’m scared of rejection and bad news. All I can do is wait. I’ve been doing a lot of that this fall and I don’t think I’m getting any better at it. But in this time of advent (see what I did there? Oh holiday themes proving very fitting to real problems!), the reminder that everything can change in a moment, not only good to bad, but bad to good, gives me some hope for the unforeseeable future. Hopefully all this waiting will pay off!

Thank you for reading and not tiring of my small worries. The gift of your time in this busy season means so much to me.